What if the very thing
your soul longed for, the one that gives you sleepless nights full of prayer,
tears and pain is the same thing that will keep you from God?
Is that desire worthy
enough to replace God?
“On
the day when Elkanah sacrificed, he would give portions to Peninnah his wife and
to all her sons and daughters. But to Hannah he gave a double portion,
because he loved her, though the Lord had closed her womb. And her rival used to provoke
her grievously to irritate her, because the Lord had closed her womb. So it went on year by year. As
often as she went up to the house of the Lord, she used to provoke her. Therefore Hannah wept
and would not eat. And Elkanah, her husband, said to her, “Hannah,
why do you weep? And why do you not eat? And why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?” (1 Samuel 1:4-5, ESV)
Hannah desired a child
so much even though the bible says her husband loved her a lot, she couldn't
shake what her heart wanted. Elkanah’s question to her really got me thinking, why
wasn’t he enough for her?
Now, we know that earthly
marriage is a mirror of our marriage to Christ which is why husbands are called
to love like Christ and wives to submit as unto the Lord. And I imagine God
asking some of us "Am I not enough?"
The depth at which we
desire a thing can be quite dangerous because we may treasure it so much that
if we had to choose between God and it, we would choose it. No greater love
than one who would lay down their life for a friend and that was one of the
reasons God called Abraham His friend. Isaac, his son, was a representation of
all the promises and the true lineage of Abraham and he was treasured highly by
his father. But although Abraham loved his son deeply, he was willing to lay
him down because he loved God much more.
You may never know how
much hold something has on you until you reach a crossroad and you have to
choose between it and your eternity. Sounds like an obvious choice as we are
quick to judge the rich man for not wanting to surrender his riches to follow
Christ. If only we knew the story behind it, and I’m not trying to justify him
but to give a better picture of why we must subject our desires to God. How he
held on to those riches is how some of us hold on to our jobs, spouse, kids,
ministry, idea of marriage, business etc. And truth be told if Jesus had spoken
those same words to some of us in regards to the things we love and desire we
probably would have also walked away downcast.
I believe that's why God
delays certain things or doesn't give it to us because He doesn't want to lose
us at the expense of our appetite. Just like the case of Hannah, it was God who
closed her womb not the enemy and caused her to wait before her desire came to
past. He wasn’t trying to be mean but I believe the wait was good for her and
as a result when it came time to give back Samuel to God, she didn’t hold back.
But that’s not always
the case. Just because we hunger for a thing doesn't make it the will of God. If only we'd embrace that fact we would stop asking God to fulfill
the desire “He placed” in us, because He didn't place it there; we did. The
good news is that even if our desires, especially those borne out of
selfishness, don't line up with the plan of God, He has the power to turn the
heart of kings, and He can do the same for us.
Prayer
Search us Father and try
our hearts, if you find a desire that competes with You please help us deal
with it. Teach us how to treat You as our most valuable desire/treasure. If we
cannot learn how to subject that desire beneath You and You choose to not give
it to us, then help us accept and believe that losing it is better because we
gain You. In Jesus name we pray. Amen!
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