I was tweeting tonight
and a question struck down in my spirit, why do you write?
I tweeted " I write becus i can't keep the joy HE brought to
this once shambled heart a secret, when they say the blood still works i'll
testify to it"
What do I mean you ask? Well once upon a time there was a
little lost girl who thought she had it all together and that she could take
care of herself. She would even sometimes assume the responsibility of taking
care of everyone else. Trying to make people happy and still be happy all at
the same time. Little did she realize that she had been wearing a mask for so
long that it had become her reality. Little did she know that she was passing
through life as a statistic not because she was created for that but cause she
had let a thorn in her flesh dominate her mind for so long. That thorn was her
need to be a part of the world's status quo, need to "fit in", need
to be perfect, and need to meet everyone's criteria of what her being should
possess in its entirety.
She found herself
storing up all the disappointments and pain in this little section of
her heart not because she wanted to but because she made herself believe she
had dealt with it. She didn't want to appear broken, or damaged but worthy in
the eyes of her beholders. She was in so deep but thank God for always being on
time! For being on time that day on the cross when He sent His only Son to die
on the cross of Calvary for her sins. When He sent grace in exchange
for her pains, when He sent love to mend that broken heart, and when HE said
let it all go at my feet so i can give you peace.
She resisted because she
thought she had to be this strong person and handle everything on her own, but
He had the patience to wait for her to realize that she couldn't but HE COULD!
That strength she thought was hers was really His but she was so
blinded that she didn't realize she had blocked Him out a long time ago. Her
heart was hidden but not in Christ; it was hidden in herself, her opinions, and
"their" perception. Until one day He descended on her and broke her
down to show her those corners of her life she was trying so hard to hide. He
said "you can trust me and although it seems overwhelming i've been there
by your side even when you didn't acknowledge me"
He swept up those
mentalities that were ruling her mind and showed her the purpose for her life.
It wasn't by any means
easy but eventually she realized that there wasn’t anyway she could earn HIS
love and this baffled her. Like something out of a fairy tale, a PERFECT GOD
loving an IMPERFECT her dusting off the flaws and pronouncing perfection by the
BLOOD of the LAMB!
See that little girl had
to grow in the Lord to become a Woman according to the standards of heaven for
Him to release her into His purpose for her. She had to learn that people's
opinions didn't count and she didn't need to "fit in" because HE had
ordained her "ONE OF A KIND"-- a unique species, a woman after
HIS heart, a disciple, a leader, a prophetess, a WRITER and much more. This
once “little girl” was ME!
I made up my mind that
no longer would the skies be my limit but the heavens! It's me and HIM against
the world and i write because HE literally changed the reason for my tears. It
used to be tears of anguish but now its tears of joy & gratitude that someone
like HIM could love someone like me. I write because if he could pick me up
from the gutters and make me something HE can do it to anyone. I write because
I want to encourage someone out there that he isn't looking for a perfect
person HE wants you just the way you are to use you as vessel to magnify
HIS Holy name.
We don't know it all and
HE doesn't expect us to but what HE wants is for us to seek the keeper of all
knowledge which is HIM and TRUST that HE can do ALL things including LOVE &
bless us perfectly!
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